Trusting

It's a cloudy morning here in Oklahoma. I'm feeling very reflective this morning. Perhaps it's because so many things are SO outside my control, that I've realized again how utterly dependant upon God that I need to be. I could worry about things, stress over the what-ifs, but I know what I'm like when I do that. Trust me, I'm not very fun to be around! Instead, I am choosing to trust. To take steps forward in faith. To depend on my Jesus who holds our future in His loving hands.
My cousin Sarah, has been battleing cancer for the past five years. She is now in her final days of her life. She's been in the hospital, and now on hospice care for almost three weeks. There have been several times where we think she is just about to run into Jesus's arms, and yet she still lingers here. We are torn, wanting her to fly to Jesus..yet it hurts to let go. I would love to drive back to the funeral. In fact, I got the oil changed, tires rotated, washed and vaccuumed the car and filled it up with gas. I have the house cleaned, laundry done and all I would have to do is pack. This has made me realize how our lives need to be ready for when Jesus comes back for us.

Monty is almost done with Seminary. He'll be done in August. His packet to go active duty is ready..and will go before the boards in May. We have no control over whether they will pick him up to go active duty or not. We know that that is what we whole heartedly desire. But, even that, we have to

hold in open hands..knowing that God is in control. We are choosing to move forward by faith and put our house up on the market. We know that if he gets picked up for active duty, we will be moving and need to sell our home. We know that the time to sell a house is not August...so we are holding the sale of our home and our future place of residence in open hands.


So many things out of my control, so many things that I just need to trust Jesus with. So many things that if I give into my human nature would stress me out. So many things that I daily have to give over to my heavenly Father who loves me and desires to use our lives for His glory. You know, at the end of the day, that is really what matters.

A New Year, a New Blog

Last night I spent a great deal of time re-reading my "old" blog. I lamented about how neglectful I had been with blogging over the past year. In fact, my old blog and turned into a reminder of what I "was not" doing, and becoming a bit of an area of guilt for me. Silly, I know. So...I decided to start fresh. A brand new blog...fresh, crisp and ready to tell the story of 2010 as it unfolds.

Every year, at the beginning of the year, I wonder what God has in store. I wonder what I will learn, what adventures He will lead us into. I also want to know what characther traits God will be shaping in me. This year, He seems to be speaking to me in the areas of "Wisdom and Joy". Thus, the name of my blog for this year. I desire these traits in my life. I desire these traits as a wife and Mother. I desire these traits to be things that come naturally. However, I can tend to be foolish and crabby a lot of the time. So, this year, I'm asking that God weave these traits into the tapestry of my heart. That I will find wisdom in Him and that joy may be the natural outflow of my life. So, here's to a guilt free blog, and many lessons to share!